I heard the rumors over the past couple of days and dismissed them. 

I heard them again yesterday afternoon and thought, “Wow, the media will just throw any name out there to coach a major sports franchise.”

I read in the rumors section of ESPN.com’s NBA page and couldn’t believe that this crap was getting so much talk because there was plenty of basketball discussion to go around thanks to the NBA playoffs. 

Then, Talkhoops.net senior writer and fellow Weekly Fix podcast co-host, Brandon Gallawa sent me a text message this morning telling me that the Bulls had hired Doug Collins and that it was an awful decision.  We immediately agreed and decided that this will be a topic in the next podcast that we record this weekend.  I went to ESPN.com and saw that the Bulls were indeed hiring the TNT color analyst and that they were spinning it as a “coming full circle” type of story.

That’s a load of crap.  Coming full circle?  Does that mean he’s going to be a terrible coach when it matters again and get fired for an up and coming assistant in Chicago (look to the right)?  Is that the coming full circle story that you mean? My dog chasing his tale is more of a coming full circle story than Doug Collins’ return to Chicago.  And this is the problem with stories like this.  We try to immortalize coaches like Doug Collins for returning to a city.  Where was this for Brian Hill when he returned to the Magic?  Why wasn’t that a majestic coming full circle story? 

Is it because Chicago has way more history and interest than the Orlando Magic?  When did Doug Collins become a coaching genius that was noteworthy?  Was it when he gave his “Keys to the Game” that were eventually proven wrong and he completely backtracked and spun it into him being right?  I guess I wasn’t paying attention.  Doug Collins is a decent coach.  But he isn’t someone that deserves “Red Bulletin Notice” in the upper right hand corner of ESPN.com. 

Much like drinking a carton of milk in the hot San Diego heat, Doug Collins was a bad choice.

I think this is a terrible hiring for the Bulls.  And if you think that this is a solid hiring that can’t hurt this franchise, then I strongly suggest you read the book by Michael Leahy, “When Nothing Else Matters: Michael Jordan’s Last Comeback.” It’s a really good book about the two years MJ spent as a Washington Wizards player in which Doug Collins coached the team.  It chronicles the lack of spine that Doug Collins had in regards to doing what’s best for the team and the lack of respect that the players had for him.  That was his latest coaching job until the Bulls hired him this week.  I’m sure that there are friends of the Bulls’ players that played under Collins on the Wizards during his stint there.  In fact, Larry Hughes was on the Wizards during that second year.  That’s a major problem. 

It’s not like he was just a coach that couldn’t get the job done and was fired.  Players get over that.  He was completely incompetent, unfair to his players that weren’t in Jordan’s favor, and didn’t have one player question his firing when he was let go.  That’s something that gets passed around the league, especially by players.  When the first thing goes wrong and he does something that his players definitely are against, he will lose all credibility with them and lose them mentally until he’s fired.  Larry Hughes holds the biggest advantage in the success and the understanding of the players going Doug’s way.  Doug will have to favor Larry Hughes and play him big minutes.  Doug will have to allow the bad shots and lackadaisical effort on both ends of the floor from Mr. Hughes so that Hughes doesn’t decide to turn the team on him.  The problem with that is Larry Hughes is no longer a very good basketball player.  He’s no longer a player that consistently affects his team in a positive way.  So if Doug gives into that notion of trying to appease Hughes, he’ll end up hurting the team’s chances of winning and get the players to turn against him in an uproar of disdain for his coaching abilities. 

This goes along perfectly with a saying that I love to use when informed of a bad decision. 
“There’s no way this ends well.” 

In case you haven’t figured out my message here, the Bulls are screwed.  I was openly against these assumed chances at a Chicago Bulls NBA Finals appearance during this season that everybody proclaimed would happen.  I didn’t think the Bulls were as bad as they ended up being, but I knew that they certainly weren’t title contenders, even in the East.  So what chance do they have of being successful under a guy that clearly uses orange hair dye?  He can’t properly demonstrate the effectiveness of a play on the telestrator.  What chance does he have of diagramming a play that will make Kirk Hinrich and Tyrus Thomas successful at the end of ball games? 

I don’t blame Doug for leaving the frosty tip wigs of Marv Albert for the chance to be Derrick Rose’s first coach.  Maybe he’s hoping to catch lightning in a bottle with Rose and have enough talent around him already to become a contender.  I understand that and his desire to coach again.  I just find it odd that he decided to take on that task other than the task of the Phoenix Suns, which he was rumored to be in the running for a couple weeks ago.  I want a coach that is going to go after the best job for him and the best chance to win.  Too often in this league, coaches and GMs make the safe move that keeps them employed and doesn’t necessarily take the best chance at winning.  Doug went for the safe coaching job instead of going to a system stacked with stars and a winning hunger.  That is not the characteristic of a leader. 

Sorry, Chicago but Doug Collins is currently your leader. 

There’s no way this ends well. 

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(Ed. Note - Here are two great things that were said to me after I posted this article both by Phillip Barnett:
1. I can't wait until he sweats through his blazer while Andres Nocioni takes 33 shots from behind the arch.
2. I called Celia (Talkhoops.net female writer and avid Bulls' fan) when i found out and she said "is he that mother fucker who couldnt get jordan to the finals?")

Photos Courtesy of espn.com and pantagraph.com, respectively