The first game of our announcing crew critiques was the November 11th game between the Miami Heat and the Phoenix Suns in Miami, Florida. We’re blessed with the presence of the Miami Heat’s announcing crew, who consists of Eric Reid (play by play announcer- right), Tony Fiorentino (color commentator- below), and Jason Jackson (sideline reporter). It was actually a pretty good game in terms of basketball being played. We assumed going into the game that Phoenix would absolutely run away with this game and that we’d have to suffer through the blow out routine of one of the worst announcing crews in not just basketball but all of sports.
(That’s the true test of an announcing crew by the way; how they respond and attempt to make the game interesting while their team is getting blown out. A lot of announcing crews get “squirrely” and turn into giggling little girls at a sleep over. They make jokes that are funny to them and probably nobody else. They quit calling the play by play and tell stories of old players. This only works when you have a color commentator that tells odd tales of his old playing days. Other announcing crews get very depressed and defensive. They constantly bad mouth the officiating and sound as if their organization just lost out on their chance to win a championship. The best crews keep on with their normal routine and mix in an entertaining story or two during slow moments of the game.)
The outcome of this game was close, like I said. The Phoenix Suns struggled all game with the Heat’s methodical style and with containing Shaq inside. Phoenix constantly had to double team without a big man of any proportions close to Shaq, which allowed Jason Williams and Ricky Davis to capitalize on poor defensive rotation. It wasn’t until the 4th quarter, sparked by an 11-0 run by Steve Nash, that the Suns finally pulled ahead and were able to hold onto for a 106-101 win. Shawn Marion had 17 points, 24 rebounds, and 5 steals. The problem is that this officiating crew didn’t let us know about his rebounding production during the game until the final moments.
Here’s how the scoring breaks down for the Miami Heat’s announcing crew. Zach Harper and Brandon Gallawa will each give you their score for this category and their reasoning for it.
Nicknames- Zach Harper: 2; Brandon Gallawa: 2
Zach Harper- I was not a big fan of the usage of nicknames and only first names by both of the announcers in this game. The use of Shaq was fine with me because he’s almost at like a Cher level of being known by one name. However, I heard far too many Ricky’s (Davis), Jason’s (Williams), and a couple of Anfernee’s (Hardaway, when Penny would’ve been acceptable). If I were a casual fan coming across this broadcast, I wouldn’t know whom they were talking about. An announcer and/or color commentator shouldn’t have to use full names every time, but last names with players are much easier to follow than first names.
Brandon Gallawa- As far as I’m concerned the only thing an announcer can do that is more unprofessional than using first names and nicknames while calling a game is cursing during the broadcast. I can’t imagine a broadcast team being worse at this than Reid and Fiorentino. My counterpart also forgot to include when they referred to Udonis Haslem as UD among their other offenses. I agree that using nicknames and first names with certain players is understood. Shaquile O’Neal is a super-duper star that transcends the game, so calling him Shaq is completely acceptable. But expanding that to Shaq Daddy or the Diesel as our gruesome twosome often did made me want to root against Shaq even more. That is the biggest point: it made them sound like homers and makes it harder for an objective or casual fan to watch.
Objectivity- Zach Harper: 9; Brandon Gallawa: 9
Zach Harper- Surprisingly, this team was very objective throughout just about the entire game. They never seemed to complain about the officiating except for a couple of slight comments down the stretch of the game. But the officiating was pretty good that game and the fouls and free throws attempted were fairly even. I was fully expecting this crew to coddle Shaq and talk about how if Dwyane Wade had been playing then Phoenix would be in trouble but they seemed to call it like it is. Very surprising and almost flawless.
Brandon Gallawa- I was as surprised as Zach that this broadcast crew was as objective as they were. It makes it easy to be objective when the referees call an even game. I was really expecting to hear a lot of pats on the backs for the Heat because they were hanging in the game without Wade. I was very surprised that they weren’t singing the praises of the team. The only reason that they didn’t receive the perfect ten is they completely overlooked Shaq absolutely killing them with turnovers and bad shots down the stretch.
Color Commentator (Tony Fiorentino)- Zach Harper: 1; Brandon: 1
Zach Harper- This guy was one of the worst color commentators that I’ve ever experienced. His voice and New York accent were almost intolerable. He never added anything to the game and showed little to no expertise and analysis. A color commentator should be able to add to what the play-by-play announcer is saying and he was incapable of doing so the whole night. He never talked about anything relevant during replays, timeouts, and stammered way too much while speaking during the halftime and post-game shows.
Brandon Gallawa- Awful. There really isn’t much more to say than that. He is like listening to an overbearing Yankees’ fan that moved down to Miami. A color commentator is supposed to accentuate the play-by-play announcer, but Fiorentino did nothing to add to the experience of suffering through Reid. Also his job is to talk, but he isn’t especially good at it. Anyone with the nickname of Coach should be able to break down some replay footage or explain where there was a breakdown on defense or show the right moment for a kick-out, but Fiorentino couldn’t break down how to twirl spaghetti on a fork. I reiterate, awful.
Sideline Reporter (Jason Jackson)- Zach Harper: 4; Brandon Gallawa: 3
Zach Harper- Jason Jackson is a decent sideline reporter but his questions to coaches and/or players are always predictable and pretty uninteresting. The nice thing about him is he doesn’t try to drag out his on-air time too much. He says what he has to and kicks it right back to the announcing crew (considering who he’s working with, perhaps that should be a knock against him). I’d like to hear a little more about what was going on during the timeouts from Jason.
Brandon Gallawa- Once again the biggest problem was the interplay between the parties involved. Any broadcast with a sideline reporter is already fighting an uphill battle for me. Throw in the fact that it isn’t an attractive woman, and it loses more points. Then add in the fact that Jackson brought no insight on the coaching staff or game plan, and that is a trifecta of bad sideline reporter attributes. Not to mention the fact that Jackson didn’t have banter that was interesting whatsoever.
Halftime Show- Zach Harper: 8; Brandon Gallawa: 7
Zach Harper- It wasn’t a very spectacular halftime show but it was decent. They showed some nice highlights and talked about what was going wrong and right with both squads. The bad thing about it was that they didn’t give much in terms of individual stats. Shawn Marion had 12 rebounds in the first half, on his way to 24 for the game, and they never mentioned it once. Impressive, individual performances should be mentioned in cases like this. The best part about the halftime show was the host. It was a woman named Kristin Hewitt who isn't particularly great at her job but she isn’t bad on the eyes.
Brandon Gallawa- The main point of a halftime show is to point out themes from the first half and what to look for in the second half. This really wasn’t done. As was previously mentioned, where was the focus on the dominating rebounding performance by Marion? After watching that halftime show I knew nothing more than just watching the game with the sound off There were standard highlights as is usually the case, but there was nothing spectacular happening that made the halftime show especially memorable. The hostess Hewitt was above average in the looks department, and that was pretty much the saving grace.
Replay/Production- Zach Harper: 2; Brandon Gallawa: 3
Zach Harper- There are 2 criteria for scoring high in this category. Show relevant/impressive replays and give proper analysis of them while they’re on the screen. You know how you get a score of a 2 from me? By describing the wrong play on more than one occasion and especially during the final minutes of a close game. There’s no excuse for this and it just makes the telecast completely embarrassing.
Brandon Gallawa- The only reason the broadcast didn’t get a lower score in the production department simply comes down to branching out from standard FSN broadcasts. It was just different enough to the standard FSN broadcast that I could tell at least they were trying different things. That doesn’t mean it’s good. I questioned if Fiorentino was wearing an earpiece because a producer has to be telling him the highlight that he is breaking down. You would also think that at some point during the highlight he would figure it out, but that didn’t happen. Unless it was a Shaq dunk there weren’t many replays that I can recall. The one thing I did like is that they didn’t overuse the hero shot (the shot of the person that just made the basket running back on defense). That may be the most overused shot in basketball, and it kills me when a play happens in the backcourt that gets missed because the hero shot. Overall the production was not very dynamic.
Make Funability- Zach Harper: 2; Brandon Gallawa: 3
Zach Harper- It is so easy to make fun of the two announcers that it’s almost like cracking Paris Hilton/herpes jokes, Lindsay Lohan/train-wreck jokes, or Stephen A. Smith/being an ignorant racist jokes (while shouting for no reason). The play-by-play guy’s voice is like one of those cheesy, top 40 DJ’s on the radio and makes you attempt your best Casey Kasem impression. As far as the color commentator, you’re attempting your best Goodfellas’ voice while describing the exact opposite of what’s going on in the replay. The easier it is; the lower your score will be.
Brandon Gallawa- It took about 2.3 seconds to start talking about The Sprain episode of Saved by the Bell after hearing Reid talk. As is usually the case we also wondered out loud if Reid talked to his wife and kids the same way. Does he use his radio announcer voice when describing his sexual exploits? The only thing that would have made it easier to make fun of Fiorentino would have been if he was choking down a meatball sub while repeatedly saying stuff like “fugetahboutit” or finishing every sentence with “pal.” Now we know what it would be like if a goomba gave his insight on a basketball game. Fiorentino must have gotten the job because his connected uncle held the owner of Sun Sports out a hotel window. So yeah, it was pretty easy to make fun of them both.
Post-Game Show- Zach Harper: 4; Brandon Gallawa: 6
Zach Harper- It was your typical FSN cookie cutter post-game show. The problem was that it wasn’t a studio crew; it was the game’s announcing crew. This isn’t a bad thing most of the time unless you’re watching the Heat’s game announcers. Tony Fiorentino constantly misspoke and stammered through his inept points and Eric Reid went through the top Rock albums of 1976. Also, Ms. Hewitt from the halftime show did not make an appearance.
Brandon Gallawa- I looked at this category in a positive light because at least we found out Marion had 24 rebounds. I have to agree with Zach though. It was bad enough that we had to suffer through Reid and Fiorentino during the game; we deserved a break from them on the post-game show. Researching the Sun Sports site, I’ve found that there is a post-game show, but there was either no preview of it or it was just the announcing crew giving us nothing. Tell us what is happening around the league. Break down the game that we just saw. Analyze.
Play-by-Play Announcer (Eric Reid)- Zach Harper: 3; Brandon Gallawa: 1
Zach Harper- Ugh. This guy was terrible. He talked like Casey Kasem. He constantly was trying to sound like an announcer than actually act like an announcer. His shtick took away from the game on the floor. I often found myself putting my head down in disgust while he was talking and missed plays. He used words like “kaboom” when a Heat player would hit a jumper. He called Tony Fiorentino “coach” even though nobody knows why this guy is allegedly qualified to be on the broadcast. His objectivity is the only reason why this guy didn’t receive a 1.
Brandon Gallawa- There may not be an NBA announcer that makes me cringe more than Eric Reid. I was really expecting to hear a Justin Timberlake song and where it landed on the countdown throughout the broadcast. I understand that television broadcasts are more about what you’re seeing as opposed to what you are being told, but the announcer still needs to describe what is happening. Reid was at times the Randy Moss of announcers, he missed plays or took plays off. There is no excuse for that. He must have been tired from all his interviews with American Idol contestants.
Would We Watch Again? Zach Harper: 2; Brandon Gallawa: 3
Zach Harper- I’ve got to be honest here. I don’t think I will. Dwyane Wade playing at a high level during the year may bring me back but based on the horrific nature of the broadcasters, I don’t want to watch another Heat game right now. It’s fun to make fun of these guys in game but it gets old after you realize that you’re stuck with these guys for two and a half hours. This will probably be the worst announcing crew we critique all year long.
Brandon Gallawa- Short Answer: Hell no. Wade could be two points away from 80, and I might think twice about changing the channel. Jessica Alba could be doing her first ever nude scene, and it would be completely ruined if this was the broadcast team describing it. The only saving grace was the fact that it was very easy to crack jokes about the broadcast, but that only goes so far when you want to enjoy a basketball game. I’m going out on a limb to say that this will be the worst announcing crew in the league, and I feel sorry for basketball fans without League Pass in Miami.
Zach Harper’s Final Score: 37/100; Brandon Gallawa’s Final Score: 38/100
Andy Eisner’s Dickter Scale (aka Hot Chick Bonus): +2 Points
Andy Eisner was not impressed with the cheerleaders (because they maybe showed them twice all game; isn’t this South Beach? Shouldn’t they be hot and split screened with the action?). There was very little “eye candy” in the crowd despite being early in the season and against one of the league’s best teams. Sadly the hottest chick during the entire broadcast appeared in an Indian Casino commercial. Very low bonus from our cynic.
Overall Score (Average of 2 sides + Andy’s Bonus): 39.5/100