The 12th game of our Announcers Critiques was from March 7th when the Portland Trailblazers came in to face off against the Milwaukee Bucks. This was a game between two teams that were realistically out of the playoff picture so we weren’t exactly expecting a competitive game. However, we were pleasantly surprised by the fact that both of these teams came to play and went at each other down to the final second. During the exciting game, we were slowly brought along by Jim Pashke (play-by-play announcer) and the insufferable Jon McGlocklin (color commentary). The Bucks missed out on a rare win when LaMarcus Aldridge hit a jumper with less than 3 seconds left on the clock. The win gave Portland a 32-30 record while the loss dropped Milwaukee down to 23-39 for the season. It was the Bucks’ 12th loss at home on the season.
For the visiting Blazers, LaMarcus Aldridge was the hero of the day and not just because of his game-winner. He had 29 points on 14-20 shooting with 6 rebounds. Brandon Roy added 20 points and had 10 assists while Joel Pryzbilla had 15 rebounds and 3 blocked shots. The bench only combined for 13 points but Steve Blake and Martell Webster made up for it by scoring 21 and 17 points, respectively. The Blazers shot 54.5% from the field and an impressive 8 for 16 (50%) from three-point range. It was just the 10th win of the season for Portland on the road.
For the hosting Bucks, their star could never get going until it was too late. We kept anticipating a scoring surge by Michael Redd in the 4th quarter and it didn’t come until the last 2 minutes. He had 15 points with 6 minutes to go in the game, and we expected him to rattle of 10 quick points. Then with 4 minutes to go, we expected a run and still nothing. Finally he did it in the last 2 minutes and did score 10 points but it wasn’t quite enough. Redd finished with 25. Desmond Mason had a solid game and scored 15 points while grabbing 9 rebounds. Charlie Bell came off of the bench to score 15 points but the rest of the bench (Bobby Simmons, Michael Ruffin, and Awvee Storey) each had 2 points a piece.
So how did the announcers do in such an unexpectedly good game? Did they heighten the drama or did someone’s insufferable chatter blow how they did?
Here’s how they scored:
Nicknames- Zach Harper: 1; Brandon Gallawa: 1
Zach Harper- Here’s how announcers can get themselves the lowest score possible in nicknames. First off, you constantly refer to the Bucks players by just their first name. Second, you make Desmond Mason the exception to that practice. You don’t call him Desmond. You don’t call him Mase. You don’t call him Mason. And you don’t call him Desmond Mason. You call Desmond Mason “Cowboy” all game long. Look, I get it that he went to Oklahoma State and their mascot is the Cowboy. But to call him “Cowboy” for an entire game is flat out annoying and really distracts from the game.
Brandon Gallawa- Let me preface this entire critique by pointing out that I have three man-crushes in this world.
1. Brad Pitt-Because doesn’t every man have a little bit of a crush on Brad Pitt?
2. Tim Lincecum-I’m a San Francisco Giants’ fan, he is ridiculously good and any time anyone sees him the immediate response is “Rooney ERRR.” Don’t ask.
3. Michael Redd-I love him. He is my favorite basketball player in league because of a mixture of how quick his release is and how unstoppable he is in NBA 2K. Andy knows all about the 113 point performance I laid on him with Redd (mostly because I’ll never let him forget it).
To add to my partner’s analysis turning Desmond Mason’s nickname into a semi-catchphrase is also annoying. For example, “Cowboy just got on his horse.” What does that even mean? Did he ride a horse to the basket? Now if Redd had a nickname besides Outbreak I wouldn’t have a problem with the announcers dropping his nickname about 50 times like they did with Cowboy Mason. It just so happens Redd doesn’t have a nickname, so that’s just too bad for the announcers. Can I also ask why Desmond Mason? This team has some pretty good players. Why are they so enamored with Mason?
Objectivity- Zach Harper: 6; Brandon Gallawa: 7
Zach Harper- This team was definitely not terrible with the objectivity category. Typically in most broadcasts, the color commentator is the biggest problem in openly rooting for the team they announce for. The play-by-play announcer has to bring him back to reality as the color commentator tries to show just how much he loves announcing for this team. That was exactly the case tonight. Jon McGlocklin was basically talking about the greatness of the Milwaukee Bucks players even though they were 15 games below .500 going into this game. Jim Pashke had to keep bringing him back and stop him from tattooing “Michael Redd is my hero” on his forehead during the ball game.
Brandon Gallawa- Does that tattoo exist and where can I get it? Did I mention I’m in love with Michael Redd? I want to be in his entourage. What was I saying? Oh yes, these announcers weren’t that bad when it came to objectivity. McGlocklin doesn’t love Redd nearly as much as I do, so that is a start. I think he was pointing out what every NBA fan thinks about the Bucks: this team is really good on paper, so why can’t they put it together? Pashke was very good at keeping things objective an on task.
Color Commentator (Jon McGlocklin)- Zach Harper: 2; Brandon: 1
Zach Harper- This guy broke my rule for no color commentator is worse than 2 better than Tony Fiorentino. That basically means that nobody can get worse than a 3 because Tony Fiorentino is so awful. Well, Jon broke that by referring to Mason as Cowboy, talking way too much during the telecast, not being able to properly recognize a zone correctly (he called a 3-2 zone as a 2-2-1, even though there were clearly 3 guys on the perimeter and 2 hovering around the paint), and he used a double negative. At one point they went to a 3-man booth by bringing in Scott Williams for a short time. This failed miserably because nobody can get a word in with McGlocklin talking so much.
Brandon Gallawa- Zach pretty much summed up how I feel about John McGlocklin, so I’m going to answer the question that I posed in the last section. Not to go off on a tangent, but the answer of course is a big man that plays tough and a pass first point guard. Think about it. How well would Chris Kaman and Shaun Livingston for Andrew Bogut and Mo Williams work for both the Bucks and the Clippers? Bogut is a finesse big man that compliments Elton Brand better, and he is a great passer to cutters like Corey Maggette. And Williams would give the Clips another shooter besides Cuttino Mobley. The Bucks take little risk by bringing in Livingston despite his injury problems. He only has one year left on his contract, and he is a perfect pass-first point guard for that team. They also get a banger in Kaman that plays a lot tougher than Bogut (despite missing quite a few games down the stretch this season). Those two would compliment Redd perfectly because there wouldn’t be a point guard taking shots from him and there wouldn’t be a big man that needs the ball in his hands to be effective. Neither team is making the playoffs this or next year, so why not try to give your franchises a shot in the arm? Oh and also adding Chris Kaman would make me unstoppable with the Bucks in 2K9 because I would get more 2nd and 3rd shots for Redd. He never misses 3 times in a row by the way.
Sideline Reporter (Craig Coshun)- Zach Harper: 7; Brandon Gallawa: 7
Zach Harper- Craig was actually pretty good and hardly on television. This would normally result in higher than a 7 but to begin his first appearance in game, he ended up talking for just over 2 minutes. That was way too long for a sideline reporter to speak in one setting. Hell, that’s almost too long for one game. But he did give solid information about Mo Williams and Andrew Bogut.
Brandon Gallawa- He was actually informative which was a plus. He also gave some injury notes. In this setting though he almost gave us too much information, so he ended up on the screen for a little too long. That hurts a sideline announcer’s score. I actually wouldn’t have minded if he replaced McGlocklin. He couldn’t have done any worse than McGlocklin.
Halftime Show- Zach Harper: 2; Brandon Gallawa: 2
Zach Harper- Here’s how I would sum up the Bucks Halftime Show – where was it? I blinked at one point and missed half of the halftime show. I don’t think that they showed any replays during the halftime show. I don’t think that they went over any statistics. Craig Coshun and Scott Williams hosted the show, but I’m not sure exactly how they analyzed the game. They basically briefly spoke about how the game was going so far but didn’t offer up any evidence to support what they were saying. Then they cut to McGlocklin interviewing an assistant coach for the Bucks and then the second half started. Seriously, where was the halftime show?
Brandon Gallawa- It didn’t feel like they were on commercials for 10 minutes, but that was basically the halftime show. There was nothing about the game. There weren’t really any highlights. There was a little bit of dialogue about the game, but there was nothing too in depth. It was very forgettable, and apparently we missed it. You know what would have made the halftime show better? Michael Redd shooting three pointers on a continuous loop.
Replay/Production- Zach Harper: 7; Brandon Gallawa: 6
Zach Harper- This was a fairly solid telecast despite the dreaded unoriginality of the FSN cookie cutter format. They showed good replays throughout the game and when Scott Williams was breaking down what happened, the announcing really benefited. However, when McGlocklin tried to break down the replays, he often decided to just talk about whatever the hell he wanted instead of focusing on his job. Let’s say they were to show a replay of Michael Redd hitting a three to significantly cut down the deficit in the last 2 minutes of the game, and McGlocklin decides to talk about his playing days. How is that relevant?
Brandon Gallawa- It was essentially a FSN broadcast. There was nothing too original, but there was nothing terrible. They would have been better served if they just didn’t talk during the replays because McGlocklin just took away from what we were seeing. They also tried a three-man booth, but they couldn’t pull it off. That actually hurt the score. Its one thing trying to be different than other local broadcasts, but it doesn’t have the same affect when it is poorly executed. Not only that, but this isn’t ESPN. This is Milwaukee. There is quite a big difference between the budgets of an FSN Milwaukee and an ESPN, and it shows.
Make Funability- Zach Harper: 3; Brandon Gallawa: 3
Zach Harper- I’ve got to tell you, despite this being a pretty good game, it was boring as hell. So we had to make it interesting by making fun of as many things as we could in our attempt to keep ourselves entertained. One of the things that really helped that during this game was the phenomenon of Michael Redd’s bald spot. In case you haven’t noticed, Michael Redd and Manu Ginobili have a secret rivalry into who can have the more dominating bald spot. Well, Michael Redd really stepped up his game this year and the spot is spreading. Well, we came up with the joke in referencing the movie Outbreak when the government is showing how quickly the disease could spread across the U.S. with time markers like 24 hours, 48 hours, and 72 hours. We did the same with Michael Redd’s bald spot. When we weren’t doing that, we were calling out incorrect zones like Jon McGlocklin and speaking for way too long as the other person tried to get a word in.
Brandon Gallawa- Basically it is very easy to make of a Bucks’ broadcast when I’m watching it because I’m just drooling over Michael Redd the whole time. Couple that with our running outbreak joke and throw in the constant barrage of Charlie Bell is a dick throughout the proceedings and you have a broadcast that pulls a lot of laughs. It doesn’t hurt when the broadcast is boring.
Post-Game Show- Zach Harper: 8; Brandon Gallawa: 8
Zach Harper- Bucks Live after the game was a really good post-game show. This must’ve been all the material they decided to not use at halftime and roll it into one big post-game show. Coshun and Scott Williams broke down the game for us and McGlocklin just simply wouldn’t go away as he conducted an interview with an assistant coach for the Bucks. Coshun and Scott Williams really did a great job. They gave us the pertinent highlights and statistics and then used them to finish the story of the game at hand. They even did a look ahead to the upcoming schedule, which still not a lot of teams do. They finished most of the post-game show off with the press conference for Larry Krystkowiak. This is another underrated thing that not every telecast does. Good post-game.
Brandon Gallawa- I love the post-game press conference. I wish every team did that especially after a loss. Then you have the potential of a coach blowing up on the media or a tirade. It makes for a much more entertaining experience. I’d like to mention that the post-game show gave quite a few pertinent stats and highlights but failed to mention one amazing stat. Basically we knew coming into the game that Redd had scored 25 points. I only mention this because I brought it up with about 5 minutes left in the game that he was going to score 10 points in 5 minutes. The 4 minute mark passed without him scoring. The 3 minute mark passed. Then he went off. He dropped 10 points in about a minute. If the Bucks had wound up winning the game, I’m sure they would have been playing that up, but it wasn’t mentioned because they fell short. It is still a pretty amazing feat. I would think it bears mentioning in the post-game.
Play-by-Play Announcer (Jim Pashke)- Zach Harper: 6; Brandon Gallawa: 6
Zach Harper- It’s really a shame when you have an inept color commentator working with a fairly good play-by-play man because the play-by-play man has to constantly bring the broadcast back to the audience. In this case Jim Pashke seems like an average play-by-play guy that has to constantly make up for whatever crapfest McGlocklin has taken them to. Pashke has a decent voice and solid energy. But he’s lacking in charisma that could really propel him into the upper echelon of NBA announcers. Unfortunately you can never teach charisma so he’s pretty much as good as he’ll ever be. Something encouraging for Bucks’ fans is that whenever they can McGlocklin, Scott Williams and Pashke seemed to enjoy working together.
Brandon Gallawa- The real shame of this is that if Pashke had a better color commentator working with him, it might raise him up a level or two. As it is he is competent if not a little better than competent. He has a good voice, but he brings little excitement to the broadcast. It would be nice if he was working exclusively with Scott Williams because Williams has just enough charisma to bring Pashke up a level.
Would We Watch Again? Zach Harper: 5; Brandon Gallawa: 8
Zach Harper- Personally, it’s going to have to be a really good match-up for me to watch. This broadcast simply isn’t entertaining enough to make me want to watch a terrible Bucks team. I’m not as big a fan or have as big of a man-crush on Michael Redd as Brandon does. If they decided to scrap their awkward version of the 3-man booth and dump Jon McGlocklin, then I could be inclined to want to watch again.
Brandon Gallawa- To answer this question all I’ll say is: I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. I love Michael Redd. Yeah I guess you could say I have a deep man-crush.
Zach Harper’s Final Score: 47/100; Brandon Gallawa’s Final Score: 49/100
Andy Eisner’s Dickter Scale (aka Hot Chick Bonus): +1 Points
It’s Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the land of cheese and bratwurst. How do you think the women they showed were for Andy? They get the minimum of a 1 because we don’t allow him to give a zero.
Overall Score (Average of 2 sides + Andy’s Bonus): 49/100
Photos Courtesy of nba.com, respectively